CARSON IS BEST MAN EVER FTW


 * 1) It was a Sunday in the Payday Gang House. Hoxton had just gotten a new gun, and the world was peaceful. Until, at least, Houston walked in. Let me give you a little backstory, when Hoxton was imprisoned, Dallas’ little brother Houston, became Hoxton. Now, when the Payday Gang broke Hoxton out, oh boy, he was salty. He started teasing Houston about giving his name back, and well, Houston being the wimpy piece of shit he is, did so. (Best Summary 2069) Now, that brings us back to present day. Houston walked in on Hoxton polishing his new gun, and scared him. Hoxton, being a brit, spit out his tea and threw grenade-infused English muffins at him. Houston started to run, and hid in the Attic. He thought “Well, Hoxton’ll be mad for a while, might as well snoop around.” And so, he did. He found old photos of Bain. Not surprisingly, he was the twin of Skrillex. Though, he didn’t make shitty blender music. He found photos of Hoxton, Dallas, Wolf, and Chains singing, drunk, at a karaoke parlor. Houston started to cry because he wasn’t one of the original four. Like I said, fucking wimp. He even found a rare photo of the legendary 3-man crew, The Tabula Rasa. The Tabula Rasa Consisted of a smart aleck named Basharoo, who ate so much, but never gained any weight. Lucky bastard, right? Ven, the FatFat fanfiction writer, and an unknown pony fag ChubChub who went by the name “Matt”. Ugh, I know, he has the same name as that fucker who betrayed the Payday Gang. Anyways, moving on, upon snooping some more, Houston found a bookcase.. that looked like the one Framing Frame day 3. He tried moving it, but to no avail, it did not budge an inch. So, he just decided to give up and go snoop around somewhere else. But, just as he was leaving, something caught his shoe, and tripped him. That thing, was the lever that opened the bookcase. It started moving very slowly while also playing “Guys, the thermal drill, go get it. Guys the thermal drill, go get it. Guys, the thermal drill, go get it.” Followed by “AND THIS BROKE DICK PIECE OF SHIT DRIIIIIIILL, AND THIS BROKE DICK PIECE OF SHIT DRIIIIIIILLL, AND THIS BROKE DICK PIECE OF SHIT DRIIIIILLL.” Finally, it started playing “DID YA MISS ME YA WANKERS?! DID YA MISS ME YA WANKERS?! DID YA MISS ME YA WANKERS?!” What he found inside was Wolf.. staring at everyone through cameras. Wolf quickly turned his head and screamed “HELLO. THIS IS STEVE. PLEASE LEAVE A BEEP AFTER THE MESSAGE. MESSAGE.” Houston surprised, said “BEEP.” And Wolf told him that this place was his hiding spot, as well as his guilty pleasure. He loved watching everyone do everything. See John “Motherfuckin” Wick jerk off to pony midget scat porn, see Dallas watch Soap Operas, watch Clover tattooing her crotch, etc. But now, that Houston knew, Wolf couldn’t let him go. He brainwashed him into following his every command. Everyone except Wolf, saw Houston disappear. They searched for him for 1 day, but then gave up, because no one likes Houston. At first, Wolf made Houston be his maid. Brewing him kool-aid, putting on his cartoons, and feeding him frosted animal crackers. Life was good for Wolf. However, he soon grew tired of his life. He wanted some ACTION! And so, he told Houston to do the unthinkable. Have sexy time with Hoxton. Houston couldn’t refuse being he was brainwashed. The only problem being, how was Hoxton going to have sex with Houston? Wolf thought of the perfect thing. Roofies. Wolf, being a crazy psychopath, had shit tons of rape drugs, bondage, etc. So, Houston put the roofie into a cup of tea, and set it on Hoxatron’s desk. When Hoxtalicious came back, he saw the tea, and thought nothing of it. He sat back in his gold chair, turned on some classical music, and started drinking the tea. Once he was done, he put the cup on his table, and passed out 5 minutes later. Now, it was time. Houston chained him up to a wall, and stripped him. Then, he took of his clothes as well. Once Hoxton awoke, he was confused, not scared, but confused. He suddenly started screaming, “DALLAS, YOUR LITTLE BROTHER’S A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!” But to no avail, had anyone heard him. Wolf was smiling, he was getting excited, however, the party was yet to begin. Houston started brainwashing Hoxton. Once it was done, he then started oiling himself, and started oiling Hoxton.  He let Hoxton out of his chains, and mounted him. He inserted a tiny carrot into his urethra, and started to insert his penis inside Hoxton’s anus. He went slow at first, but Hoxton wanted him to go faster, so he screamed “ACCELERATE YA WANKER!” and Houston started going faster, and faster, until he eventually went into full Sanic mode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX7zPlQjAr8  At this time, Dallas had walked in and started screaming at the horror of which was being brought upon his eyes. He was heart-broken. He asked Hoxton weakly, “Hoxton-Senpai… why did you not notice me?” and went into a fetus ball and started crying in the corner. Minutes later, Clover walked in, bagged Dallas, and put him on the zip-line on shadow-raid. He was basically the server, not worth much, but just there so they could meet the bag requirement. Anyways, continuing the fucking of Hoxton, Houston kept going for hours until he came a 10th time, and could go no more. He tried screaming at it, “GIT THE FAK UP. GIT THE FAK UP!”, but nothing worked. Finally, Hoxton decided it was his turn. So, he rammed his penis inside Houston’s ass, and screamed “GUYS, THE THERMAL DRILL, GO FUCKIN GET IT, YA WANKERS!” He then started to hit Houston’s ass with a bundle of used dinars. After 3 hours straight of fucking, they were both spent. They kissed on the lips and made up. They were now a couple. 9 months later, both of them birthed twins each. They named all of them, artifacts, and had to drag their heavy asses around for 18 years until they finally moved out to Marrakesh. Hoxton, and Houston were happy. They had lived their life to the fullest, and now it was time to move on. They retired, and spent the rest of their happy days watching a show called ‘My little pony’. Oh, Wolf became an old mage, and changed his named to Gandalf. Dallas, is still stuck on the boat near Murky Waters. John “Motherfuckin” Wick avenged his puppies, and started playing visual novels. Chains became the president of the United States, and Clover finally got some surgery, and become a model.
 * 2) The End
 * 1) The End